Without the spark that keeps the fire burning, everything can get cold. Chemistry will vanish, however, if a couple doesn’t share important values. If your partner whines about everything you hold dear, the fire you felt will be extinguished faster than a puff of wind on a burning match.
Humor is a top priority for couples in love. The fastest way to a person’s heart is through the funny bone. Laugh together and your bones will never ache from loneliness.
I know elderly people who can’t hear anything. Their TV is blasting so loud it’s waking the neighbor’s kids. But they can hear each other, because…listening is caring. Relationships that last have two people who listen to and for each other.
Have you ever heard, “You need to love yourself to love another.” Some people may understand that, but in a world full of flakes, if you say this, you may sound like one. Just call yourself a stand-up guy (or girl) who knows how to set boundaries so people can’t take advantage of you. And then, stand up for giving yourself what you need.
Happy couples have a purpose to their life, which gives them energy, which they give to each other. Neither one of them is a drainer. They both know it’s a BYOB world (BRING YOUR OWN BATTERIES.)
Great couples say ten times more positive than negative things about each other.My neighbor mentioned, “My wife is growing a beautiful garden this year!” I drove by their house. I think I saw her garden. It’s just that the weeds were higher than her plants. But HE loves her work. That’s support.
When couples have mutual respect, there’s not much irritation or anger. When you don’t have respect, everything the other person does feels like fingernails on a blackboard.
Couples that last put each other first. They retrain themselves to leave their former nest and do what is necessary to strengthen their bond.
9. Emotional safety
Everyone needs a place where they don’t have to put out the red cones of caution. Two people who trust telling their secrets to each other feel safe. Safety is everything.
Two people who are willing—willing to talk, or go to counseling, or listen to one another—are going to work out any rough patches in the way of intimacy.
If sharing the same background and interests mattered, would I have responded to this?
“Gentleman travels foreign countries, sleeps soundly anywhere, can eat anything. Casual wear is chappals (sandals) and Kurta Pajamas. Never had an indoor pet.”
Would he have responded to mine?
“Lady travels rodeo circuit, can’t eat anything normal OR strange, can be awakened by birds chirping five miles away. Always wears boots and jeans. Has two dogs sleeping on the bed.”
We must have had some of the ten things listed above. Or, maybe, as they say in Hollywood, “we knew each other in another life.” Maybe he was a cowboy…and I was an Indian.
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